


A Home To Rest My Heart

by 71tenseventeen



Series: A Home To Rest My Heart [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Christmas Season, Financial Struggles, M/M, Non hockey au, Single Dad Sidney Crosby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:55:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21736420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/71tenseventeen/pseuds/71tenseventeen
Summary: Things are looking up for single-Dad Sidney when he gets a promotion, moves to a new apartment and meets the man of his dreams. When the rug is yanked out from under him no one is prepared for the fallout.
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin
Series: A Home To Rest My Heart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566625
Comments: 6
Kudos: 127





	A Home To Rest My Heart

It started with a piece of candy. 

Sid had gotten a promotion and he and Thea were finally able to move to a new apartment. It wasn’t much, just a small no-frills one-bedroom apartment, but it was a step up from their old single room where they both slept on the fold out couch. Here he’d still be sleeping on the sofabed but his little girl would finally have her own room. More importantly it put them in a better school district so when she started Kindergarten in the Fall, it would be at a school Sid felt good about. It wasn’t much but he was proud of it. 

He couldn’t afford a brand new bedroom set but he found a used bed in good shape on an online swap shop that, for ten extra bucks, the owners were willing to deliver. Once it was set up he and a very enthusiastic Thea set out to explore their new neighborhood and hit up some thrift shops to decorate her room. 

“Remember little love,” Sid hated having to say this but he needed to temper her excitement a little bit. “We need to stick to the list.” 

“I know Daddy. Sheets and blankets and one stuffie.” 

Sid’s heart hurt but he nodded. “That’s right.” 

“Can we look for pink?” 

“Sure. We’ll see what we can find, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Sid shoved the familiar sadness to the back of his mind as they stepped out onto the sidewalk. It was the first day in weeks with weather above freezing and in Pittsburgh that meant everyone was out trying to shake off their cabin fever. Their street was lined with old buildings that held apartments and small shops now. He’d googled and knew that there were a handful of thrift shops within walking distance but before they could take a step, Thea pointed directly across the street. 

“Daddy look!” 

Not that she had to say anything. It would be hard to miss the array of books, dishes, silky scarves and other random items arranged on metal racks and a long table outside the shop. There were so many different things, Sid couldn’t really make sense of what kind of shop it might be. The name— _Как дома_ and under that _Like Home—_ didn’t really shed any light but there was no mistaking the large chalkboard hanging above the table where someone had handwritten, “Sidewalk Sale. Clearance table.” It probably couldn’t hurt to look. 

As soon as they crossed the street a tall man with dark hair stepped out of the shop carrying a stack of books and magazines. He noticed them right away and smiled.

“Hello! You very first customer today. We just open,” He greeted them brightly. 

“Oh. Hi,” Sid fumbled a little. He wasn’t not sure what kind of person he expected to be running this shop but it wasn’t this man with dark, friendly eyes and very, very nice arms. 

The man set the stack down on the book rack and turned back to them, extending a hand. “I’m Evgeni. You looking for anything particular?” 

Sid quickly shook his head. “Not really. We just moved in across the street and wanted to explore the neighborhood a little bit.” 

“And buy pink sheets for my new bed!” Thea piped up and Sid couldn’t help but smile. 

“That’s right,” he smiled down at her. “And buy pink sheets for your new bed.” 

Evgeni smiled warmly at her. “Afraid we don’t have any sheets here but you and your Papa,” he shot Sid a questioning look before continuing on as Sid nodded, “Feel free to look around and stop in anytime.” He reached into a small basket next to the books and produced what looked like two pieces of candy. “You should try. Is Russian chocolate.” 

Sid’s stomach twisted a little as Thea was already reaching for the candy. “Oh, how much…” 

“No cost. Little gift for welcome to neighborhood. I’m live above shop so we neighbors now.” 

Something about his smile set Sid at ease, warmed him from the inside out. “Oh. Well thank you. Thank you so much,” he looked down at Thea who was already unwrapping her candy. “Thea, what do we say?” 

She stuffed the chocolate in her mouth before looking up and mumbling, “Fank oo.” 

Sid sighed, wanting to apologize but Evgeni just laughed, looking delighted. 

As much as Sid would like to stay and chat with the handsome man, they had things to get done so they thanked him again and waved goodbye. 

Two hours later they made their way back, Sid holding a couple of plastic bags in one hand and the other latched firmly to Thea’s hand where it sat on his shoulder as he gave her a piggyback ride. It had taken longer than he’d hoped and she was tired and hungry so this was his best solution for keeping her happy until they got home. 

Evgeni spotted them right away, flashing an amused grin as they trudged closer. “Hello neighbors,” he said with a wave. 

Sid carefully lowered Thea to the ground with a sigh of relief. She was small and he wasn’t exactly weak but it was a long few blocks. 

“You find pink sheets?” He pointed to the bags in Sid’s hand.

“Pink sheets with _hearts_ on them!” Thea nodded excitedly. 

“Hearts?” Evgeni exclaimed. “Sound perfect.” 

“Can I have more chocolate?” 

“Thea!” Sid admonished. “That’s not polite at all.” 

“Is okay. Look like we’re all out of little chocolates for the day,” Evgeni replied, gently. 

Thea quickly lost interest after that, turning to wander along the metal racks. Sid knew it wouldn’t last long so he quickly apologized and was just turning to go when he heard her squeal. “Daddy look!” She was holding up what appeared to be a stuffed monkey with a very large head. 

Sid’s stomach twisted. He hated when this happened. 

“It’s very cute but we better put it back now.” 

Her face fell and normally she could handle something like this but it had been a long morning and she really needed some lunch and a nap. “Does it cost too much?” She asked with wide, wet eyes. 

Sid’s heart sank. 

He cleared his throat. “Um, I don’t know sweetheart.” They’d spent less than he’d budgeted for her sheets but he also knew that brand new specialty toys weren’t usually cheap. Dreading what he’d find, he took the stuffie from her hands and looked at the price tag, cheeks burning as he wished Evgeni wasn’t watching this all play out. _$24.99_. 

Sid swallowed hard. He could spare a few bucks for a small toy but there was no way he could spend $25. He took a deep breath, preparing for the pending meltdown. “Honey, I’m sorry. I d—” 

Suddenly Evgeni was right next to him, reaching for the toy. “Oh, you find Cheburashka! I just bring him out few minutes ago. Not have chance to mark him down yet.” 

Sid frowned and glanced back towards the rack where he thought Thea found it. It hadn’t come from the sale table. By the time he looked back to protest, Evgeni had already drawn a black line through the price tag and re-marked it $5. 

“Wait, five dollars? That’s all?” 

Evgeni smiled. “Yes, five dollar.” He offered it to Sid. “You interest in take him home?” 

“Please, Daddy,” Thea begged and Sid finally nodded slowly. 

“Yeah. Yeah we can, baby,” he said, handing it down to her so he could dig the money out of his pocket. “Are—it was really marked down that much?” He said, following Evgeni to the makeshift register counter by the door. 

“Of course,” he said, waving a hand as he started to ring up the purchase. 

Thea was dancing happily next to Sid. “Thank you Daddy! Thank you for Chebachanka.” 

Evgeni snorted, laughing softly. “Cheburashka. He have big monkey head and bear cub body. He’s from cartoon my Mama show me when I’m little and I used to have little Cheburashka, too. He’s most cute.” 

Thea grinned, completely charmed, trying to repeat the name. “Cheburshka.” 

Evgeni laughed again and repeated the name with her a few times until she got closer. Sid watched, amused. “We’ll keep working on it,” he said with a smile. “Thanks, um, Evgeni?” 

Evgeni grinned wider. “Very close. You work on that, too,” he teased, thankfully ignoring Sid’s pink cheeks. “You have name, too?” 

“Oh, right. I’m Sid and is Thea.” 

Evgeni held out his hand, “Nice to meet, Sid.” 

Sid definitely didn’t lay awake later thinking about how Evgeni’s big hand had fit so nicely and felt so warm wrapped around his own. 

\--

The new apartment was great but more expensive and Sid couldn’t afford to take more time off than the weekend to get them settled. He’d known that money would be tight but to him, it was worth it. By Monday morning, it was back to business as usual. 

They quickly settled into their new routines. When they left the apartment every morning, Sid could usually see dim lights coming from the shop and an older woman shuffling around inside. But Evgeni was there almost every evening when they came home. If he saw them he smiled and waved. Sometimes he’d come outside and call out hello. It was a month or so before they visited the shop again, Sid having decided to buy Thea a couple of pieces of Russian chocolate. (It had _nothing_ to do with needing a reason to go inside and say hello.)

Evgeni greeted them warmly and was delighted to tell Sid about the different candies they had stocked while Thea looked around the shop. The minute she saw the dollhouse, Sid regretted coming in. He knew better, usually tried so hard to avoid putting her in situations like these. Her eyes lit up in a way he rarely saw and his heart sank a little more every second as he watched her scan the wooden house that stood just taller than her filled with tiny dolls and pieces of furniture. He didn’t have to see a price tag to know it was well out of their budget. His cheeks burned when, after distracting her didn’t work, he had to tell her gently that it was just too much money. 

After that he avoided taking her in the shop. 

By the time summer rolled around she still hadn’t forgotten about the dollhouse but she didn’t talk about it as much. Sid had been quietly browsing online for anything even remotely similar. He knew he shouldn’t feel bad. A toy like this was an extravagance for most families, not just him. But it still hurt, whether it should or not. Just once he wanted to do something big for her. 

That feeling stuck with him for long enough that he he found himself in the shop again, alone this time, cheeks burning as he approached Evgeni. 

“Sid, hello! Not used to see you here this time of night. Was just about to close up shop.” 

“Oh, sorry. I can come back another—” He started before Evgeni waved him off. 

“Don’t be silly. Always glad to say hello. No Thea tonight?” 

“My next door neighbor is watching her for a few minutes. I just—I had a question, actually.” 

Evgeni’s eyes brightened for a moment as he leaned forward against the counter. “Okay.” 

“I was wondering, um, actually. Do you, I mean your shop, do you do payment plans here?” He really hoped Evgeni wouldn’t think less of him. 

“Payment plan?” Evgeni was clearly confused. 

“Like, um, like I would make payments on, um, something and then pick it up when it’s all paid off?” 

“Oh.” Understanding seemed to dawn on Evgeni. “You want I set aside something, you make payments and pick up when all paid off?” 

“Yeah. I mean, if you do that. It would, um, it would probably take me awhile though, around six months.” 

Evgeni looked like he was thinking about that for a moment before he finally nodded. “Think we can work this out.” 

It took a few minutes but Evgeni worked out a payment plan for the dollhouse that involved Sid coming in every two weeks on payday. Sid thought if he had a little luck and he could pick up a few extra hours here and there, he could make this happen. He was smiling by the time Evgeni began taking down information to enter into the computer. They didn’t have anything official set up but he was determined that every dollar Sid paid would be recorded and Sid given a receipt. It took a few minutes more but he finally settled on a spreadsheet and printed out a copy as Sid’s very first receipt, smiling as he handed it over. 

“You really good Papa, you know?” 

Sid sucked in a breath. “I try.” 

“You’re do good job. She always so happy with you.” 

Sid ducked his head. He hadn’t been expecting anything like this. “Thank you. I, um, I should probably get back now.” 

Evgeni smiled warmly as they said their goodbyes. 

Sid only made it to the curb, though, before Evgeni was pushing through the door calling after him. “Sid, wait.” 

He wasn’t smiling and that worried Sid. Was he changing his mind? 

“Forgot, um, forgot to get a couple of pieces information.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Oh. Um, okay. I can come back in and write down whatever you need.” 

“Is okay. You can just tell.” 

“Okay…” Sid said the word slowly, confused. “What do you need to know?” 

“Favorite food. Forgot to ask what is favorite food for you?” 

Sid stared. “You need to know my favorite food for this?” He held up the receipt, confused. 

Evgeni stuffed his hands in his pockets and blew out a breath. “No, just, ah, wanted to know your favorite food so maybe could ask you out to dinner sometime.” 

Sid was sure his heart stopped. Evgeni wanted to ask him out. Was asking him out, maybe, right then? Sid couldn’t tell. This wasn’t something he’d ever expected. Could he even find a way to date right now? Would it be a good idea to date Evgeni? Holy shit, did Evgeni really want to ask him out? 

“Sid?” 

Sid forced himself to focus. “You, um, you’re asking me out?” 

“Want to. Sometime, maybe? Is okay if you say no. Not affect anything with dollhouse. Just, um, been thinking about doing and Thea not with you.” 

It was a risk. And Sid had no idea how he would manage one date, let alone more if things worked out. But he’d been doing a lot of things lately that he wouldn’t normally do and god, he really wanted to say yes. 

“I like Italian food. Um, pasta, pizza—that kind of thing.” The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to talk himself out of it and Evgeni’s face lit up with a sweet smile. 

“Okay. Italian good. When you have free time?” 

Sid thought about that. “Sometimes my friend’s wife watches her for a few hours on Saturdays.” Technically that was when Sid worked overtime but he didn’t think Vero would mind if he asked for this. They were constantly trying to set Sid up anyhow. 

Evgeni smiled wider. “Perfect. You, um, you tell me when you have Saturday free? I work everything else out.” 

“I’ll, um, I’ll ask tomorrow.” 

This time when Sid walked away, there was a new spring in his step. 

\--

For the first time in a long time it felt like everything was falling into place. 

It had taken her a few weeks to get comfortable being in her own room and bed at night but now Sid could barely pry her out of there some days. Money was still tight but he was able to pay the bills and keep up with payments on the dollhouse without too much trouble. Some weeks he even had enough leftover to take Thea for a treat. 

And then there was Evgeni, or Zhenya as he’d taught Sid to call him. He couldn’t remember ever liking someone so much. He’d been so nervous and unsure on their first date but from the first moment, Zhenya was wonderful. He was sweet and attentive, genuinely interested in their conversations. He had an amazing ability to find joy in almost any situation and Sid really loved that about him. 

He was also really great at kissing, so there was that. 

What meant the most, though, was how willing he was to go at Sid’s pace. As much as he was drawn to Zhenya, he had to keep it slow. Thea was with him almost all the time which meant Zhenya had to be patient. And he was. He never complained or made an issue of the fact that he rarely got to see Sid without Thea. Instead he embraced it, cooking dinner or walking to the park with them, always finding ways to include her. 

All of it was more than Sid had dared to let himself hope for and he was more happy than he’d been in a long time. 

The bottom dropped out in September. His hours were being cut due to budget restrictions. He was lucky to still have a position at all, they told him and Sid knew he should be grateful for that. 

Money got tighter. The tiny buffer he’d enjoyed for the past six months was gone. He tightened up the budget every place he could and thought, if he could just ride this out until they reinstated his hours, everything would be okay. 

His position was officially cut in October. He was able to stay on, in the position he’d held before his promotion which meant less pay. A lot less. 

He didn’t know how he was going to tell Thea that they were probably going to have to move again. He didn’t know how to tell Zhenya that he was struggling, that he barely had money to feed his daughter, let alone contribute to dates. He was sure if he told Zhenya, he’d offer to help in some way but Sid just couldn’t do that. This wasn’t Zhenya’s burden. Sid would have to figure it out on his own. 

He began to scour the help-wanted ads and submit resumes anywhere he could. He clipped coupons from the paper and started looking for a new apartment, something smaller and cheaper. The entire time, he kept making payments on the dollhouse, held on as long as he could until there just wasn’t any money. 

He had to feed Thea. 

It was a cold Friday night in December when he knew Zhenya wasn’t working that he made his way to the shop. He fought back tears as he explained to the older lady with familiar eyes that he’d need to have a refund and could no longer pay for the dollhouse. He expected there to be some kind of fee but she refunded him the full amount he’d paid, eyes full of sympathy. It broke his heart. 

When Zhenya called the next morning, Sid lied and said they were both sick and that he’d talk to him on Monday. 

On Monday he made another excuse and then more every day after that until Zhenya stopped trying. 

They had to skip having a Christmas tree but he strung up lights they already had in a corner of the living room and tried not to cry again as he wrapped up the coloring book and off-brand playdough he’d gotten at the dollar store. They weren’t bad gifts and he thought she’d enjoy them—he’d just really wanted to do something special for her this year. And now he couldn’t even afford to keep them fed. 

Sid couldn’t remember a time in his life when he’d ever been more sad. 

On Christmas Eve Sid put Thea to bed in her beloved room and tried hard not to think about how he was going to have to take that away from her as he kissed her goodnight. He packed a couple of boxes and heated a can of soup for his dinner. He still hadn’t found another apartment, still didn’t know where they were going to go but they had to be out by the end of the month. 

With a heavy sigh he washed his bowl and pulled out the sofa bed. Thea would probably be up early so even though he knew it would be hours before the ache in his chest would let him sleep, he thought he should at least try. 

The soft knock at the door came just as he turned out the last light. Sid frowned—who would be at his door now? He shuffled over to peer through the peephole. 

His chest clenched and he pulled the door open, staring up into familiar dark eyes that looked a lot sadder than he’d ever seen them. “Zhenya.” 

“Hi Sid,” he replied, hands stuffed in his pockets so that his shoulders hunched forward. There was snow on his hat and jacket and Sid desperately wanted to invite him in. How had he fucked everything up so badly? 

Sid glanced down and that’s when he saw the big box wrapped in shiny gold paper leaning against the wall with a smaller box wrapped in red on top. “What…?” Sid trailed off, eyes stinging. 

“Know we not together but I’m buy before we…” He paused for a moment to take a breath. “Can’t return, can’t use. Want you both to have.” 

“I don’t, um…” Sid’s throat was thick and he tried to clear it. “I don’t have anything for you.” 

“Didn’t expect you to,” Zhenya said, looking up. “Anyway. Merry Christmas, Sid.” 

As he turned to go everything in Sid screamed at him to stop him, to just tell him everything. _Make it right_. He felt frozen, voice caught in his throat and then Zhenya stopped, turned around, hurt showing all over his face. 

“Just—Can you at least tell me what I’m do wrong? Thought things were going good and then you just gone. What I’m do wrong, Sid?” His voice sounded dangerously close to breaking. 

“Nothing,” Sid rasped, blinking back tears. 

Zhenya shook his head for a moment and then turned away with a sigh. 

Sid watched him take one step and then another before he cracked. “Zhenya, I’m sorry. Please don’t go.” 

He stopped but didn’t turn around. 

“Everything fell apart. I lost my job and had to take a demotion to keep working. I couldn’t—Everything is so bad. There’s no money. I can’t—I can’t pay rent here anymore. I can barely keep Thea fed. And I didn’t want...I just didn’t think you should have to deal with that. I didn’t want you to know how bad I messed up. I just thought…” Sid had to stop and clear his throat again. “I think you deserve someone better than me.” 

There it was. Sid felt like his chest was ripped open but at least he was finally honest with Zhenya, even if it was too late. 

When Zhenya finally, slowly turned to face him, his eyes were shining. “You think because you have bad times, you not deserve to be loved? Someone to help you through hard times? That’s what relationship is all about, Sid. For me is never about what you have or don’t have. Is about how I feel about you and how you make me feel.” 

Sid’s breath caught in his throat. “You were the best thing that ever happened to us.” His voice was wobbling now as he realized there was a good chance that Zhenya was going to walk out of his life forever. “If you—If you give me a chance, I promise I’ll fix it, I’ll find a way. I have a lot to work out but…” His voice began to break. “I miss you.”

Zhenya took a breath and gave the slightest shake of his head as he looked away. Sid’s heart sank. “Okay,” he whispered and turned away. He didn’t want to watch Zhenya leave. 

It was like a punch to the gut when his eyes landed on the presents so carefully wrapped and topped with bows. Sid really hoped that Zhenya was gone because he was quickly losing control of his emotions as he dropped his face into his hands. 

“Sid.” 

Zhenya’s soft voice was right behind him and then there was a gentle hand on his arm, tugging until he turned and all Sid could do was whisper, “I’m so sorry,” on another soft sob. 

Zhenya held him close for a minute, neither of them saying anything before he pulled away and looked down. “If I come in, it can’t be for just tonight, Sid. Need to know you trust me, even when things hard for you.” 

Sid doesn’t even have to think about it, nods immediately, unable to find the right words. 

Zhenya takes a breath. “Okay. Let’s go inside and talk.” 

Half an hour later the presents were under the light strand, next to the two small ones that Sid had wrapped for Thea. Zhenya stripped down to his tshirt and sweats and climbed onto the lumpy, fold-out sofa bed with Sid, arms wrapped around him as they talked into the night. 

**Epilogue**

Sid dragged packing tape across what was probably the twentieth box he’d packed that day. Using a marker he carefully wrote “Thea’s room” on it, just like he had on all the others. When had she gotten so much stuff? 

He glanced around the room—they’d painted it pink shortly after moving in—and was satisfied that he’d packed everything he could into the boxes. All that was left was a couple of changes of clothes in her backpack to get her through until the boxes made it over, and the dollhouse. 

That would be going in the car with them. 

It still brought tears to his eyes to look at it, to remember her eyes lighting up when she’d hobbled in sleepily on that Christmas morning two years ago and been so happy to see Zhenya. Sid remembered everything about that morning—Zhenya’s rumpled hair as he’d scooped her up, the snow falling steadily outside the window, the look on her face when she saw the wrapped presents, the way Zhenya held him as he wept watching her open the dollhouse—all of it was burned into his heart. 

Zhenya spent all morning putting it together for her and then, a few days later, moved it with the utmost care into the vacant two bedroom apartment above the shop. Right across the hall from Zhenya. 

Sid smiled as he looked around, remembering how they’d painted and decorated her room together, how happy he’d been just to be near Zhenya. That feeling never went away. They’d lived there ever since, with Zhenya officially living across the hall, though it had been well over a year since he’d spent a night anywhere other than in Sid’s bed. 

“Hey.” 

Sid turned in time to see Zhenya smiling at him, let himself be pulled into strong arms for a gente hug. “Got the car pulled around, ready for dollhouse.” 

“Thanks. I’ve got a blanket to wrap it up. She’ll be heartbroken if anything happens to it.” 

Zhenya kissed the top of his head tenderly. “We take good care of it.” 

An hour later he watched, heart full of emotion, as Zhenya carried it carefully into the little three bedroom house that sat on a corner lot with three trees and a small front porch. They’d already painted Thea’s room, lilac this time, at her request. Her bed was there and Sid set to work putting pink sheets with little hearts on the mattress while Zhenya opened the box that said, “Dollhouse furniture” and began to set the little house back up. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr.


End file.
